From One Mother to Four Others

To Vivienne's Mothers - 

Today in America, we celebrate Mother's Day.  It's a day set apart to honor our mothers and how much they mean to us.  In the past, this has meant breakfast in bed, sweet homemade treasures, and time for our family to be together.

This year is different.  This year, I have found myself thinking back to all of you, to the women who helped to shape our sweet Vivi into the beautiful girl she is today. You are very much on my mind.

To Vivienne's birth mother:
I will likely never know your name.  I will likely never know the life circumstances you faced that led to your decision to give your precious daughter away. I will never know what it felt like to leave her, and to pray and hope and wish and anguish over whether or not she would be found and survive and live.

She did.  Oh, she did.

This is probably close to what she looked liked when you made your decision.

I cannot imagine the heartbreak and fear and overwhelming love that one must have to leave her baby.  But I don't judge you in any way. How could I? The only thing I could ever do is celebrate you.  I celebrate your devotion to life and your devotion to your daughter.  I celebrate your choice, the impossible choice, you made.  Because without that choice, I don't have my Vivienne.

If I could tell you anything, I would thank you and say that your baby girl is not just alive, but she is thriving. Several months after you made your choice, this is what she looked like.

It is the first picture I saw of her.

She beats odds and she moves through life at lightning speed, even on legs that are still gaining strength. She is the epitome of joy.

Our girl - yours and mine - is going to do amazing things.  Thank for you for her life.

To Vivienne's first foster mother:
From what we are told, you believed in her from the very start.  You saw through the sick baby with the poor prognosis lying in the bed,

and saw the spark of life her stunning eyes. 

You cared for her at her most vulnerable moments, daring to love a child that was so ill and who would not live with you forever.  You took a chance and loved this beautiful little baby through surgeries and illness and diagnoses. 

And under your care, she didn't just live, she thrived.

A baby who is required to wear leg casts doesn't smile like this unless she is secure in how much she is loved.  In a country where so many abandoned babies are left simply to exist, this is a baby that knew that someone was going to come when she cried, pick her up when she was hurt, feed her belly when it was hungry, tickle her until she giggled uncontrollably.

This is a girl who was so clearly loved.

You celebrated her first birthday together, and after all that you had been through together, what a milestone moment that must have felt like for you.

If I could tell you anything, I would thank you and tell you that when I look at Vivienne and see the ever-present spark of life in her eyes, thoughts of you go through my mind.  Every single time.

You set her on a path not just to survival, but to life, and I am grateful every day that you took a chance on a sick little girl, and loved her to life.

Our girl - yours and mine - is going to do amazing things. Thank you for your faith.

To Vivienne's second foster mother:
You are the woman I know nothing about. I only have a few pictures of her time with you, and none have your face in them.  But I know that you cared for Vivienne for most of her second year of life.  I know that you obviously loved her, as she suffered no setbacks under your care.

I know that you introduced her to new friends and new experiences, like swimming in a pool on a hot day.  I know that you had plenty of toys for her to play with, and that you kept up with her medical appointments.

You didn't just keep her alive, but you helped her to thrive.

If I could say anything to you, I would thank you and tell you that staying the course with Vivi helped keep her on the path to health and wellness.

Our girl - yours and mine - is going to do amazing things. Thank you for your dedication.

To Vivienne's third foster mother:
You came in when Vivi needed a safe and loving place to stay for the last couple of months before we were able to come and get her.  It must have been very hard to take a sweet girl into your home, and love on her so much, only to know that she will not be able to stay for long.

You could have just kept her safe and dry and warm.  But you chose to give her so much more.  You chose to love her and be her mother in every sense of the word while Vivi was under your care.

I know that Vivi became a fashionista under your care, a trait she still has today.  That girl insists on accessorizing everything and she is very stubborn about her choices!  I know that she had the love of a brother and two sisters and a dad while with you, and I know that none of you hesitated to show this sweet girl, in your home for such a short time, the same kind of love that you would have showed a child who is yours forever.

That kind of love doesn't just keep a child alive, but it gives her the strength to thrive.

If I could say anything to you, I would thank you and tell you that your short time with Vivi has made a huge difference.

Thanks to you, Vivi had a beautiful last couple of months of being one, and a wonderful party to welcome her into being two. That's something that a family does.

Our girl - yours and mine - is going to do amazing things. Thank you for your care.

From Vivienne's mother:
The strange beauty of adoption is being able to live with the knowledge that you were not with your baby from the first second she took a breath. Instead, your precious child was cared for by so many others who worked so hard to pave the way for you to one day take her in your arms and love her and call her your daughter.

I want you to know that I cherish each of you for the part you played in Vivi's life, and for the person that she is today and the person that she will become.  You have given yourselves, and the gifts of life and faith and dedication and care will never be forgotten.  I will cherish you each, individually and collectively, for the rest of my life, and never stop telling Vivi that she has four women who were her mother before me, and to whom she, and I, owe so much.

Without you, I would not have my joyful and incredible daughter.

She's been through many hard times, our girl, even since I became her mother.  There have been tests on her little body and assessments of her mind and her abilities.

But through it all, even when they confined her body to take pictures of her brain in a test that would drive most adults crazy, she takes everything in stride.  Her spirit is strong because of each of you.

On this Mother's Day, on every Mother's Day to come, and on every day in between, I will be forever grateful for each of you, for giving me these moments.

 

Our girl - yours and mine - is going to do amazing things. Thank you.

Happy Mother's Day.

Love,
Vivienne's Mommy